Lost

Let's be real -

The minute I found out we were moving to Arkansas, I started to countdown the days until we moved back HOME, which is Texas. It's not like I've never lived anywhere else but Texas, but this was different. I had just had a baby. I didn't want to move away from family, and rob them of time with their niece/granddaughter/great-granddaughter. It was hard to say good-bye. One of the hardest days of my life. 

We moved to Northwest Arkansas on Mother's Day of 2006. We were only supposed to be there for 2 years. I figured, 2 years would fly by. I could do 2 years. Well,  TWO years turned into 7. Rylee was 9 months old when we moved to NWA. That is the only home she's ever known. Landry was born in NWA. Lots of good things came out of us living in NWA. It was just the three of us, then it became the four of us. Sure our family & friends were back in Texas, but we made it work. We went "home" as often as we could. They came to visit as often as they could. It was just the norm for us. We made some great friends {one a native Texan}, my girls were happy, they had friends, and lots of activities to keep them busy. I really started to feel like I was home.

Then, the day I waited 7 years for had arrived. We got the news that we were headed back to Texas! It wasn't home, but it was Texas. I'm not gonna lie, although I was excited about our new adventure in San Antonio, I was sad to leave our new, adopted home in NWA. Not only were we leaving the only home my kids knew, we were leaving a great school, great friends, and Rylee's dance studio. It suddenly became all to much for me to handle.

Once again, we are in the same boat. Although we are in Texas, we are still 4.5 hours away from our friends & family. It's just the 4 of us again. I know we haven't been back in Texas long enough to be settled, but dang, I miss NWA. I miss the friends I've made. I miss the small town feel. I miss the seasons. WOW!  I never, ever, ever thought I'd say that, but I do. I miss it. Rylee misses, "home" as she calls it. I never had to move when I was little. I lived in the same small town my entire life. So, I can only imagine how hard this has been for her. To start over, make new friends,  it has to be rough for an 8 yr old. I just feel lost here in the lone star state. I don't feel like I'm home anymore. I had a great 30 {minus the year I lived in Florida} years in Texas, but I think it's time to go back home.

They say, "HOME IS WHERE YOUR HEART IS."  I think I left my heart back in Arkansas.